What Really Happened? Was I Heading to My Home In Heaven?
My life changed drastically on Friday, April 22, 2016. I was scheduled for a morphine pump replacement that morning in Bruinswich, GA. I had been a smoker for over 30 years and wanted to quit so I prayed that morning that God would take the taste of the cigarettes out of my mouth forever.
We left for the trip to Bruinswich that morning & got there around 5 am but doors did not open till about 5:45 am. As soon as the custodian opened that area Jim & I went inside & up to the out patient area. We waited for a while till the staff came. The morning started off alright. I was called in to prepare for my surgery when things started to go wrong for me. First I had an allergic to the ,scrub they had me use to clean my body. It made me itch so they put benedryl in my iv. Then the pharmacy did not have my 50 mg of morphine & only did 25 mg so they had to reconfigure the amount I would get so it was the same as I get normally but that meant I would have to return in 6 weeks to get it replaced with my 50 mg compound. Something went wrong when the mixture mixed with the old morphine. They feel the old morphine crystallized in the tube & mixed with the new which raised the dose to a high mg. but we did not know this till I came home & everything I smelled & tasted was like tar or smoke & I could not eat but was able to drink. I had been overdosed from Friday thru Sunday. On Saturday my dog jumped in bed with me & ripped my leg open & Jim had to get me to the ER. There they cleaned the wound & 12 stitches later. They called my pain DR. & told him & was overdosed on the morphine but they sent me home. Sunday I started to feel a little better & getting back to my self but still had some problems.
I talked to Bro. Keith that evening which made me feel so much better. On that Monday the rep from Medtonics called me & told me I was going through withdraw even though my Dr. felt I had both symptoms & wanted to see me later that day. Well when Micheal called he told me to take a bolus which I did & within an hour and a half I knew something was not right so I called my friend Liz in PA to talk to me to keep me alert. While talking to her I became unresponsive for a bit but came back. I told her that Jim would be home at 4 & we had to go to DR. She told me to call 911 but I told her to keep talking to me then all of a sudden I had a sneezing spell & went unconscious. She tried to get a rouse out of me for 10 min. When she could not get any response she had her roommate get 911 on the line in PA. She had my address but was not sure how to spell Hazlehurst but had our zip code. Jim & I had been told that if I did not make that call that day Jim may have come home to find me gone. I thank God everyday for having control of what happened that day & for giving me this opportunity to talk about it.
But all of a sudden I started to feel pain again and the taste & smell was rushing back . Next thing I knew was the EMT’ s were coming into my breezeway & they were saying something about weak pulse but unresponsive. When I came too for a bit I did tell them to take me to Vidalia but in the ambulance I know something started to happen again because the EMT started calling my name & then was putting pressure on my chest which caused me some pain to get me to come back or respond.
After coming home from the hospital I was asked if I saw anything and only thing that came to me was seeing myself in a field of golden wheat but the color was if it had been pure gold & I had no more pain, I felt calm & relaxed but also felt so serene & I was dancing, But I had not been able to dance in over 13 or more years & I looked like I did the day I married Jim. I was 12 years younger & healthy.. it was so bright but I do not remember seeing the sun, but there was just brightness all around. I was just frolicking in the wheat. The color was just not like most wheat. It was golden. I felt at peace. I didn’t know if I had stopped breathing or if I was on my way to heaven and was going to be able to meet God & Jesus or reunited with my son, Keith. that I lost almost 3 years earlier
Since that day my life has changed. I have looked at life differently. I keep looking for that wheat field everywhere in our travels or even something close to what I had seen but have nothing even close to compare it too. That next day I saw a family doing their shopping & the little boy wanted some Ice Cream but his mom told him not this time. Something in me told her she needed to get it & I asked Jim if he has change to pay for the Ice Cream. I felt God had wanted me to bring joy to their life.
But the next day it seemed to be so hard to accept that I was chosen to be sent back & all I did was ask why was I sent back? What made me be chosen? Why was I chosen instead of my son or my friends son? The Devil had been working overtime casting doubt in my heart & telling me I was not worthy & making me question God & his reasons for sending me back. From that Tuesday through that Friday I felt so confused. On that Friday I was going to get my hair cut & I cried all the way there because of being so confused. Diane talked to me & when she was done cutting my hair she asked her staff & customers to join her to pray with me, they all gathered around me & laid hands on me & prayed for guidance & some peace to except the gift. My tears on the way home was tears of joy. I find that I can not get enough of the Bible or being in prayer & talking to people I met on the street or in a store. Some have told me about the loss of a family member & I let them know that their family once they passed they were in no more pain & looked the best that they would imagine. I am still not back to were I need to be & have been dealing with some effects from that day but I know one day soon I will be back to a better me. (May 2016)
If this was all due to the effects of a morphine overdose and it never happened I am not sure anymore, but it has changed my life considerably. Maybe it was Our Lord’s way of getting my attention. If it was, He sure did and I am so thankful. (Jan. 17, 2017)
The Bible doesn’t give us an abundance of details as to what heaven will be like, but it does give us what we need to know. After all, how could we possibly fathom all that God has stored up for His saints to enjoy and experience? If we could understand heaven fully now, it wouldn’t be much to look forward to. But, the God Who is able to do even above and beyond what we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20) will create a new heaven and a new earth that will transcend any feeble attempt by our present earthly imaginations to be able to conceive of what heaven will be like. The best and greatest we can think of or ask for, God will do more. In fact, He will do much more. As such, we have much to look forward to, even though we don’t know specifically what all is coming.
What Scripture does reveal to us we should take to heart so that we have hope. The Bible says that heaven is paradise. Christ, when speaking to the thief on the cross who repents, says that he will be with Him that very day in paradise (Luke 23:43). Paul speaks of being caught up into the third heaven into the very presence of God, and he describes it as paradise (2 Corinthians 12:1-4). As good as the Garden of Eve was, heaven will be perfect, a perfect paradise. We know that there will be no more pain, tears, grief, or sorrow because Christ will wipe away all tears (Revelation 21:4). All physical ailments, emotional pain, and sorrow will be gone for we will be in the presence of Christ Himself (Revelation 21:3). Perhaps that is the best part of all, having the eternal opportunity to be in the very presence of our Savior face to face. Yet there is more.
In heaven, we will sing praises to God (Revelation 4:11). We won’t be bored or just sitting around because God has much for us to do, learn, see, and accomplish. We will have responsibilities as we reign with Him and serve Him (Revelation 22:3, 5). Our souls will be filled with ecstasy as we get to work with Jesus to bring about His wonderful, glorious, and perfect plan in paradise. We will see those who have died in Christ, and we will be reunited. We won’t go to church, per se, because we will worship Christ Himself Who is our temple (Revelation 21:22). There will be transparent streets of gold (Revelation 21:18, 21) and all kinds of precious stones for the foundation of the walls of the city of the New Jerusalem (Revelation 21:19-21). Jesus will light the world (Revelation 21:23), God will be on His throne (Revelation 22:3), and the tree of life will be there (Revelation 22:2), representing our eternal existence with God. There will no longer be any curse, which means that there will no longer be any sin (Revelation 22:3). Finally, our battle against our flesh will be over, and we will be able to live in holiness perfectly. There will be no fear any longer, for Jesus will be our King.
There just isn’t any reason why we shouldn’t look forward to heaven. We can rest assured that worshiping God in heaven in paradise will not be boring. He will have much for us to do, see, discover, and be responsible for. Psalm 16:11 says, “In Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever.” Heaven is thus joy maxed out because we will be in the presence of Christ and we will be able to experience the eternal pleasures which He has stored up for us. We will be forever with God, which in and of itself is so wonderful it is beyond our ability to fully comprehend. Yet there will be still more joy, pleasure, responsibility, and infinitely more. It just can’t get any better than heaven, so let’s fix our hope entirely upon Christ’s coming (1 Peter 1:13) as we wait for something beyond and so much better than what our imaginations can conceive. One day very soon, we who are children of God will see our Savior face to face, and our joy will be beyond complete. “He who testifies to these things says, ‘Yes, I am coming quickly.’ Amen, ‘Come, Lord Jesus’” (Revelation 22:20). In a world of many distractions, disappointments, delusions, and deceptions, one thing is for sure. Christ is coming back to reign and to gather His own. May this reality encourage us to be holy, to hope, and to persevere.
We have nothing to fear about passing away & going to paradise in heaven.